Brisbane Mothers Love and Guilt (from 22 March)
This is a story of mothers guilt, mothers love and poo on the ground.
You may or may not know, but before I bought Brisbane Kids I started a Graduate Diploma of Teaching in early years. Fast forward 1 1/2 half years later and I am on my last two subjects, one of which includes a practical period of work in a school. Life is hectic, I certainly would have reconsidered the graduate diploma had I known that Brisbane Kids was to exist and that it would take so much time from my life..
So Tuesday Morning getting ready for school- 23 gorgeous prep students awaiting ‘Miss Ngaire’– due to be there at 8am with my happy face on…
I am not known for 2 things. One is organisation- I am a virgo- but somewhere i skipped organisation 101 and am far too creative to be that rigid. Secondly I am not very good under pressure- I just like to take things at my own pace, smell the flowers, take in the
garden before work etc..
6am due to get up.. still sleeping…
630am still sleeping
6.45 wake up wondering what’s going on- realised my alarm clock, AKA my husband didn’t wake me before he left to work..
This is what unfolds next
I ring husband to confirm he forgot- to hear him say- it so I can say ‘thanks’… as you do…he informs me I have plenty of time.. mm 45 minutes- 2 kids, me in the care.. mmm… I say thanks again and hang up the phone.. then I feel bad for hanging up
I quickly update Brisbane kids- no time for thinking- no time for witty questions..
I get dressed.. (no i don’t decide what I wear the day before) and because I am stressed I destroy our bedroom with clothing changes and settle on something I think will make me feel happier.
I get my 18mth old up and put him front of Timmy Time.
I get master 3 up- I carry him to the lounge stand on lego and scream- SCREAM 1
I take master 18 month olds clothes off, leaving him in the loungeroom so I can go and get a nappy..
I come back… I here from his barely speaking mouth “P P P” and he points to a massive poo on the ground.. SCREAM 2….
Then again he says “P P P P P” and he points at more poo on the ground SCREAM 3
The again he says AGAIN “ P P P P” and he points to his leg which is COVERED in poo.. covered.. SCREAM 4
I take this moment to beg them both just to help mummy out.. i sound desperate.
SO then 10 minutes wasted cleaning up..
Finally we get in the car 10 minutes late- I feel like crying- My 4 year old says—mummy “chill down”
When we stop I give him a big cuddle and say I am sorry and he asks me if I am still his friend, I say “yes” and HE hugs me and yes with relief ‘Oh Mummy I love you too”
A dear friend told me once that if you lose it, you should always say sorry and tell them it isn’t their fault and that you love them… So I DID
The fact was though ALL DAY I had severe mothers guilt, like no other I have ever felt and I realised as a mum we are put under all this intense pressure to raise these little humans to be strong and happy individuals, and it is so vital we role model this. I know this.. so why is it so hard in practice.
Was it ok to lose it? NO but I am human, so I am putting things in place to hopefully stop it happening again- like buying a non human alarm clock and some exciting changes that are too come to Brisbane Kids.
I have a massive (massive to me) prac block coming up which consists of 5 weeks fulltime with lots of study and I know this will be the test for me.
I would love some ideas not only on what mums DO to organise themselves but also what they do to calm themselves.. I am sure a lot of you are experts and a lot of mums are in my position wondering how on earth you do it.
ps- 4 hours later- surrounded by the sounds of laughing children.. I realised how funny the “P P P” was and how helpful dear little tom was being.. afterall what if I hadnt seen the poo and had stepped in it”
